Henry's Birthday

Well here is a little update about our life in the last few days. Dec 16th was Henry's 4th birthday. We celebrated it on Dec 17th when Mom and Dad Nelson, Kaynie, Riley, and Micah came over from the other side of the state. It was a nice time, and we got to do some good catching up. Especially with Aunt Kaynie whom we haven't seen in 7 months. Henry wanted a "Blue Angel" cake. The Blue Angels are the Navy's elite acrobatic flying group. They fly in F/A 18's I believe. (for anyone who cares...) Any how if you go down to the pics you can see how the cake turned out. Henry was so excited to be 4, He kept saying "this day is my birthday". He was very cute. I have always enjoyed the excitement Henry has for the world as he opened gifts he would almost jump with excitement. Then to my extreme pleasure he would say thank you to everyone. He was also overwhelmed by attention during the Birthday Song, and he put his hands over his eyes. He is a sweet, quiet little guy. Thank you to everyone who gave him something and/or were thinking about him. I was a great day.

Lyn and I got to go Christmas shopping the other day and had so much fun. We discovered that it could be very easy to spoil a child with too many gifts. It seemed as if around every corner we found something that Henry would like. Fern is not quite to the age where things would be very interesting for her. I think next year dolls and the like will hold much more interest for her. We spent way more than we wanted to on Henry ($60 yikes [Thanks to a certain family that has been very generous to us and shown us much love]) But we found some things that will be memorable to him. We also got him mostly educational / artistic things. I am so excited for Christmas. I remember last year I could hardly sleep on Christmas eve. I think that it will be the same this year. I LOVE being a dad, so sweet.

As you know times have been hard for us lately. I have been going thru some difficult times personally. So that you can understand, I feel like my whole life is a mystery to me right now. For the past eight years I have been working toward being a Landscape designer. It was (is?) what I thought God wanted me to do. But the last 1.5 years has been miserable and after getting to my goal of being a designer, I failed after 2 months. You might be saying "what a loser!, only 2 months! He's been fired twice in a single year?!" That's what I'm thinking about myself at any rate. My employer said as she fired me that it seemed to her that I was "trying to be something that I'm not." So now after such a dismal professional failure, I wonder, "what am I supposed to be?" "Who am I?" "Why did I ever feel God wanted me to do this?"
I feel completely lost. I don't now what to do with my career wreckage, I'm afraid that it is not salvageable. I wonder where God lies in the planning and furthering of ones career. Does he even care, or is that something that is up to you?
Anyhow I have alot to think about. I have no real friends, just some acquaintances. Beside my wife, my only true friend is Hector who lives in Guatemala. Despite not having seen him for 8 years we are still tight.
Thursday Dec. 27th I will be taking my backpack and flying (buddyPass) to Guatemala. There I will be able to spend 14 days with my best friend. We will be taking a chicken bus to El Salvador, and we will be visiting our old mission area where we served together for 6 months. I hope to reconnect with people from my mission. I will have lots of time to talk with my friend. The time in my life when things made the most sense was when I was on my mission. Perhaps returning will spark some sense back into my life. Since I have a BuddyPass and don't have to ask for time off, I feel that this would be a good thing for me. (Beats sitting around at home watching the rain and getting depressed.) I also talked to my Bishop, He thinks this would be good for me too. He said "Don't just make this a trip, make it a spiritual journey" So that's what I am going to do.
I am not asking for anyones permission (except Lyn's) I just would like to, at least avoid any bitterness/Ill thoughts, and at most receive some support from the ones I love.

Merry Christmas to all.